The Brilliant Horowitz and Malkine Return Triumphfully to Unison Arts Center…?

by Tom Grasso

The tragically hip comedy duo of Mikhail Horowitz and Gilles Malkine have been spotted skulking about in the woods behind the Unison Arts Center in New Paltz. Word has it that they will attempt a forced entry into the venerable venue sometime around 8 pm this coming Saturday, November 23rd.

The retro-​​security firm, Stinkerton’s LLC, has been engaged in the effort to prevent the brazenly determined pair from getting anywhere near the stage. Capture cages baited with strudel, lemon pie, and other goodies from The Village Tea Room Restaurant and Bake Shop in New Paltz have been placed in strategic locations within a two-​​mile radius and Christine Crawfis, Unison’s executive director, feels confident that that the sanctity of the Center will not be violated again this year. Others, however, disagree.

Throckmorton Purbrite, a well-​​known local mentalist, dance instructor, and locksmith, reminded us that the cages were unsuccessful last year and that the slippery twosome not only managed to extricate the bait (lox, bagels and cream cheese) from all 12 traps without capture, but they then managed to gain entrance to the hall and perform brilliantly once again for an audience of skeptics who had purchased tickets on the off chance that their heroes would appear.

Crawfis is confident that a change of bait will do the trick this year, but word has gotten out and demand for tickets for a possible appearance by Mik and Gilles, as they are known to their rowdy fans, has been brisk. Skeptics are encouraged to call 845 255 1559 and hope that there will be a few seats left.

It seems that old habits die hard, and one can easily understand why the hapless twosome seem so committed to performing once again at Unison despite all efforts to dissuade them. Mikhail Horowitz has now performed at Unison for three cycles of the seventeen-​​year cicadas. When he is not performing somewhere, he impersonates an editor in the Bard College Publications Department. He has been performing throughout the Hudson Valley, in New York City, and occasionally on tour since the 1970’s and is also a published poet whose performance works have been featured on more than a dozen CD’s.

He returns with his partner in musical malfeasance, Gilles Malkine, who was a member of Tim Hardin’s band at the 1969 Woodstock Festival and is also an actor, writer, disability advocate, artist, illustrator, cartoonist and composer.

Of the duo, the Woodstock Times writes, “With nimble tongue and dexterous wit, Horowitz and Malkine offer up burnt fallacies to the Gods of Reason. The two bring an insouciant irreverence to these troubling times, with a scathing, multi-​​media performance that comments on everything from organized religion to corporate fat cats to Beat poets. And somehow, it all makes sense …”

Unison Arts Center, 68 Mt. Rest Road, New Paltz, NY

Tickets are $21 in advance ($17 for Unison members) and $25 at the door ($21 for members). Students are half price with a valid ID. Order tickets online at www​.unisonarts​.org or call (845) 255‑1559 for more information.

Unison’s mission is to enrich cultural life and community in New York’s Mid-​​Hudson Valley through cultural and educational programs, accessible to all. Unison’s Arts Programs are funded in part by the New York State Council on the Arts with the support of Governor Andrew Cuomo and the New York State Legislature. Unison is a member of the New York, Multi-​​Arts Centers Consortium which is funded by NYSCA

This event was funded in part by Poets & Writers, Inc. with public funds from the NYS Council on the Arts with the support of Governor Andrew Cuomo and the NYS Legislature

Sponsored by Millrock Writers  and  P&G’s Restaurant


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